Where Babies Come From

 

“I know where babies come from,” Max announces to Pop Pop on their way to preschool.

“Oh?” Pop Pop asks, game to listen. Max is in that delightful childhood stage when he is always ready to ponder a “why” and ever willing to create his own explanation if his trusted adults do not provide a satisfying answer.

“You see, Grandpa,” Max says, “There are some people who have babies and don’t want them.”

Not exactly what Pop Pop is expecting, and he wonders where Max is going with this explanation.

“And when no one wants those babies,” Max continues, “they give them to other people.”

So somewhere Max must have heard someone explain adoption. Which begs the question, which Max is ignoring. Where do those adopted babies come from?

Then comes the bombshell.

“Uncle Daniel did not want Alex, so he gave Alex to Mom and Dad.”

And there we have it—Max's first version of the “You’re adopted” taunt for his baby brother Alex. 

Is Max subconsciously feeling usurped as the baby in the family by Alex? (It has been four and a half years.) Or inspired by a political era rampant with conspiracy theories, did Max conveniently forget his mother’s last pregnancy and her visit to the hospital when Alex was born? Or was he simply taken in by a classmate's story of his own adoption? Hard to tell. But I, indeed, can testify that Alex is not adopted, for my mettle as a granny nanny was sorely tested by wrestling Chrissy's three cherubs in my home for thirty-six hours while she and Christian awaited Alex's arrival at the hospital. (Pop Pop oh-so-conveniently happened to be on a business (?) trip to Israel.)

Pop Pop does not try to dissuade Max of his birth theory. As of yet, Alex is too young to absorb the false adoption tale, which Max truly seems to believe. Pop Pop figures Max’s parents might provide a more accurate, age-appropriate discussion. 

I, on the other hand, feel most deeply for the dear, sweet, besmirched Uncle Daniel whose status as the favored, single, fun, unimpeachable uncle is now seriously in question. Alas, we must wait until Easter to see how Uncle Daniel will magically restore his character.